i bow, you bow, we all bow to aibo

dogs are mans best friend. and vice/versa, right?
I really hope they remember that.

you can teach an old robot dog new tricks

posted by scott 9:58 AM

"listen to me i tell you..."

hilarious stuff here at al-zarqawi's mom's blog

so my last two posts have been about abu ayyub al-masri and al zarqawi.

if i'm suddenly and extraordinarily renditioned, someone call my folks, okay?

posted by scott 8:26 AM

Abu Ayyub al-Masri

i think i found him hiding in hollywood. roll your mouse over his face...




posted by scott 12:55 PM

when life hands you cat shit in your garden...

Henry went missing yesterday. Angie let him out early in the morning, before he ate any breakfast. he'll usually come back while i'm getting ready for work and eat before i leave.

he didn't. ...and this cat loves his food, so i was a little worried when i left for work. I couldn't put his food out, cause ants fucking suck. i just hoped i'd come home to a yowling hungry kitty.

i didn't. usually when i get home he'll either be passed out in the driveway, or waiting for me on the front lawn. no cat. i hopped on my bike and searched the neighborhood, a few blocks up, a few blocks down. no cat, and thankfully, no corpse -'cause that's what i was worried about. like i said, he loves food, and i was afraid that would have been the only thing keeping him from it. that, or he was stuck or hurt somewhere and couldn't get home.

meanwhile, the people renting the house next door are in the process of moving out. in fact, i found out that it had just been that very morning they finished, locked up the house, and left. i put two and two together, and figured he must have gotten stuck in their garage or maybe in the house. i snuck over there and broke into the garage - well, the door was actually unlocked, but it's much more exciting to say i broke in. i guess i was technically just "...and entering" -
still no cat. i wasn't going to break into the house; we have the number of the people that were living there, so we could just call them up and have them open it for us if we saw him in there. Angie got home, and the two of us went back over with a flashlight and peered into any available window. nothing.

we were both worried sick, he never disappears for this long. i woke up around six this morning, and walked the neighborhood again, to no avail. before Angie left for work, we decided to check out the house next door again, in the daylight. we went over and were calling for him, and heard a loud meow. it sounded more like it was coming from the garage, so we went back there and saw, in the next yard over, a have a heart trap with a bowl of food and a miserable, yowling cat inside. but it wasn't Henry.

This older woman poked her head out of her kitchen window and asked if we needed any help. We told her our cat was missing since yesterday, and that we had thought maybe he was locked up in the empty house. she told us that she didn't have their number and wasn't sure how to get in touch with them, and i asked if she had caught a cat yesterday morning.
"Well the cats keep going to the bathroom in my garden!"
I told her i wasn't looking for any kind of arguement, that we were both worried sick about our cat. I asked again if she had caught one the morning before, and she said she had, and started up about the garden again. I stopped her, again telling her i didn't want to argue, but asked if i could have the number of animal control that she had called. she gave it to us, and we called, but they didn't open until ten. it was about seven at the time.

six hours later at ten o'clock (well it fucking felt like it), i went to the shelter...

how do i spell relief? c-a-t-i-n-j-a-i-l
i got him home and put him back into lockup.

now i understand that this woman is upset that cats are shitting in her garden. but if that's the case, put the trap in your garden, without bait. as it was, the trap is in the middle of her backyard, with a bowl of cat food in there. i'm sure she bags one every morning. we've tried it before, but now the cat is getting a collar and a tag for good, whether he likes it or not.

and as far as the bitch luring and trapping neighborhood cats is concerned, we have an overflowing lemon tree in our backyard and an empty yard between us and that neighbor. every night before i go to bed my pitching arm is going to get a workout, and every morning when she wakes up, she can make herself a glass of fucking cat trap lemonade. i hope it's bitter.

posted by scott 12:19 PM

now all i need are some cigarettes and booze!


DIY jackson pollock

- feels a little ralph steadman-esque too...

posted by scott 3:22 PM

file under: a picture tells a thousand words


posted by scott 8:54 AM