We All Dream Alone

1.31.2004


the perfect way to spend a saturday afternoon.

goddamn lazy cat


1.30.2004


got this from amazon yesterday.

michel gondry is genius. i thought of diana, cause in the book that comes with his dvd, he has a page dedicated to pictures of all the cars his father ever owned.

spike jonze rocks, and i haven't even delved into the cunningham one yet, but i love the videos for all is full of love and come to daddy.

all the dvds are packed full of shit, and have a great book.

perfect for anyone who knows that videos can be art, and for those that didn't think they could be.

i could watch star guitar over and over and over and over and over and over.



silly cybin, tricks are for kids!

reading jeffs post eariler got me to thinking. i hate it when that happens.

(warning:the following post is a rumination on a drug experience. could be as lame as a post about dreams.)

most people, whether they know what the hell they're talking about or not, call marijuana the "gateway" drug. ~ i hear the cow in those commercials takes offense at this, as he prefers an eight ball, himself. ~ however, my first experience with drugs, other than contact highs which opened no gates for me, was with mushrooms.

growing up, my group of friends and i were, take your pick, metalheads. or headbangers. or hicks. contrary to adult belief at the time, we were (for the most part) pretty damn straightedge. it was the football players and cheerleaders that were getting fucked up on the weekends, while we were playing satanic music and dungeons and dragons. it makes me misty just thinking about it. my point here being, i didn't even really drink until i was 21 or so. there are a few reasons for this that i won't get into here.

fast forward to my early 20s, and it's new years eve. a friend of mine is just hanging in and he's gonna do some shrooms, which is sort of a tradition for him. it is, after all, safer to stay in on amateur night. so i figure, you know, what the fuck? i'm an adult now, it's not peer pressure, it's not to get back at my parents, it's not to escape the hell that is my very existence, it's just me, wanting to see what the shit is all about. so i said fuck you nancy reagan, and put the nasty-tasting-little-dried-up-piece-of-shit-looking things in my mouth, chewed, gagged, and drank a lot of OJ to wash it down.

about an hour later i was glad that i had never done this in high school, as i obviously wouldn never have graduated. auditory and visual hallucinations aside, i got going on the very meaning of life itself. here's what i came up with at the time. (and i still stick with some of these theories)

the universe was certainly created by something or someone, it's not just here by accident. said someone, or something, created the earth for a reason. we evolved from the muck to work toward a common goal for the higher being. already we come across the main flaw in my theory. what was the common goal? light without heat? it's beside the point though...

here we are, going about working toward this common goal. mortality is not something to be feared, because you know that when you die, your energy is passed on to the next person in line, and he (or she) is going to be working toward the same goal, so your life has purpose and meaning. everything is hunky dory in this world full of people in white lab coats, working dilligently to achive the common goal for their creator. then one day someone shows up to work in a black shirt, and shouts, "but what about individuality?"

gears grind to a halt, conveyor belts stop conveying, dozens of pairs of thick horn rimmed glasses fog up, and, as the creator leaves us forever, hoping to actually complete this goddamned experiment somewhere else, the entire world hears a tiny mouse let loose a fart.

this, to me, explains two things that i had previously not understood. one, that we were created for a reason, although that reason no longer exists, and two, faith. people today are still brought to life by the same energy that brought people to life when we were working toward that previously attainable common goal. it then stands to reason that they have somewhere a memory that, once upon a time, everyone was here for a reason, and they spend their lives struggling to understand what it was, or is. so they put their faith in a god above, and they fill the void that was the common goal with any one of the thousands of religious beliefs available to them. they are then comforted by the belief that they will go to a better place when they die, but the truth is, the thought of that better place is just the buried memory of knowing that your energy was being passed to the next generation working toward the common goal. that goal exists no more and god is dead to us, and we to him.

to be truly happy in this life, you need to embrace your individuality like the guy in the black shirt did, cause really, thats all there is.

i'm not as cynical as all this would seem to make me out to be, really. it looks kind of harsh actually reading it. i don't begrudge anyone their faith, if what they believe in makes them feel better in some way, then so be it.

i'm gonna try and be an individual though.





amen!

(no disgusting pictures lurking, i promise...)


1.29.2004


it is NOT okay to have a cellphone conversation in the stall of a public (well, work) restroom, with your pants around your ankles.

and it's also rude and even more NOT okay to ask the person on the other end, "WHAT? What did you say?" in an exasperated tone, every single time someone else in said restroom flushes or farts.

It's just not.

fucking bastard.

p.s. ~ i was only flushing.



i got bit by a fucking spider or something. on the face.
luckily, it doesn't look like this, or this, or, thank god, this!

but it's irritating, not in an itchy way, but in a huge frigging zit looking thing on your face way. it's just a red bump, but it's hard, and i'd really like for it to go away. now.
please.



so you gotta rent spellbound

S-P-E-L-L-B-O-U-N-D

spellbound.

great movie. rent it for the frigging spaz and the mom with the creepy dog. and the drama. oh, the drama.



the only man on the planet that writes like i thinks.
is that a good or a bad thing?


1.28.2004


mad cow spreads in the u.s.



the chronicles of sumo

part the first

the second

and the third



tell me about your day.


1.27.2004


oscars !

1. Best Picture: "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," "Lost in Translation," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Mystic River," "Seabiscuit."

Duh. ROTK


2. Actor: Johnny Depp (news), "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl"; Ben Kingsley (news), "House of Sand and Fog"; Jude Law (news), "Cold Mountain"; Bill Murray (news), "Lost in Translation"; Sean Penn (news), "Mystic River."

bill murray (but penn will win)


3. Actress: Keisha Castle-Hughes, "Whale Rider"; Diane Keaton (news), "Something's Gotta Give"; Samantha Morton (news), "In America"; Charlize Theron (news), "Monster"; Naomi Watts (news), "21 Grams."

charlize theron


4. Supporting Actor: Alec Baldwin (news), "The Cooler"; Benicio Del Toro (news), "21 Grams"; Djimon Hounsou (news), "In America"; Tim Robbins (news), "Mystic River"; Ken Watanabe, "The Last Samurai."

benicio ! best actor in a great movie full of great acting


5. Supporting Actress: Shohreh Aghdashloo, "House of Sand and Fog"; Patricia Clarkson, "Pieces of April"; Marcia Gay Harden (news), "Mystic River"; Holly Hunter (news), "thirteen"; Renee Zellweger (news), "Cold Mountain."

i think the academy will take the last train to clarkson and shock the lemon puss off of renee terwilliger


6. Director: Fernando Meirelles, "City of God"; Peter Jackson (news), "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"; Sofia Coppola (news), "Lost in Translation"; Peter Weir (news), "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World"; Clint Eastwood (news), "Mystic River."

peter jackson. please.



7. Foreign Film: "The Barbarian Invasions," Canada; "Zelary," Czech Republic; "The Twilight Samurai," Japan; "Twin Sisters," The Netherlands; "Evil," Sweden.

barbarian invasions


8. Adapted Screenplay: Robert Pulcini & Shari Springer Berman, "American Splendor"; Braulio Mantovani, "City of God"; Fran Walsh, Philippa Boyens & Peter Jackson, "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King"; Brian Helgeland, "Mystic River"; Gary Ross, "Seabiscuit."

ROTK



9. Original Screenplay: Denys Arcand (news), "The Barbarian Invasions"; Steven Knight, "Dirty Pretty Things"; Andrew Stanton, Bob Peterson and David Reynolds, "Finding Nemo"; Jim Sheridan & Naomi Sheridan & Kirsten Sheridan, "In America"; Sofia Coppola, "Lost in Translation."

lost in translation


10. Animated feature film: "Brother Bear"; "Finding Nemo"; "The Triplets of Belleville."

finding nemo


11. Art Direction: "Girl with a Pearl Earring," "The Last Samurai," "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Seabiscuit."

ROTK


12. Cinematography: "City of God," "Cold Mountain," "Girl with a Pearl Earring," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Seabiscuit."

seabiscuit


13. Sound Mixing: "The Last Samurai," "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," "Seabiscuit."

i want ROTK but i think seabiscuit might take this one



14. Sound Editing: "Finding Nemo," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl. "

master and commander


15. Original Score: "Big Fish," Danny Elfman (news); "Cold Mountain," Gabriel Yared; "Finding Nemo," Thomas Newman; "House of Sand and Fog," James Horner; "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," Howard Shore.

ROTK


16. Original Song: "Into the West" from "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," Fran Walsh, Howard Shore and Annie Lennox (news); "A Kiss at the End of the Rainbow" from "A Mighty Wind," Michael McKean (news) and Annette O'Toole; "Scarlet Tide" from "Cold Mountain," T Bone Burnett and Elvis Costello (news); "The Triplets of Belleville" from "The Triplets of Belleville," Benoit Charest and Sylvain Chomet; "You Will Be My Ain True Love" from "Cold Mountain," Sting.

ROTK


17. Costume: "Girl with a Pearl Earring," "The Last Samurai," "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Seabiscuit."

ROTK

18. Documentary Feature: "Balseros," "Capturing the Friedmans," "The Fog of War," "My Architect," "The Weather Underground."

the weather underground

19. Documentary (short subject): "Asylum," "Chernobyl Heart," "Ferry Tales."

no clue. chernobyl

20. Film Editing: "City of God," "Cold Mountain," "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of The King," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World" "Seabiscuit."

i want rotk, but im thinking cold mountain will have to win something

21. Makeup: "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl."

ROTK

22. Animated Short Film: "Boundin'," "Destino," "Gone Nutty," "Harvie Krumpet," "Nibbles."

no clue, destino, cause it sounds like destro from gi joe

23. Live Action Short Film: "Die Rote Jacke (The Red Jacket)," "Most (The Bridge)," "Squash," "(A) Torzija (A Torsion)," "Two Soldiers."

nodda clue, mon. die rote jacke

24. Visual Effects: "The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World," "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl."

ROTK


you heard it here first.



5ive questions :

okay, here's this five questions thing that is spreading like a california wildfire...
here are the rules i am told to post:

1 - Leave a comment below, saying you want to be interviewed.
2 - I will respond; I'll ask you five questions.
3 - You'll update your journal with my five questions, and your five answers.
4 - You'll include this explanation.
5 - You'll ask other people five questions when they want to be interviewed.

so anyone that wants to do this, leave me a comment, and i am forced by law to shoot five at you.

diana turned me on to this.

here are the questions she asked me, and my monday morning answers...


1.)If you could live the life of any person, whether it be a
contemporary movie star, historical figure or even a fictional
character, who would it be and why?


crap. i was hoping you'd chicken out and ask me my favorite color. blue... no yellow ! aiieeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!
hmmmm.
this is a tough one. in the real world, other than your own, you can't know what anyone's life is really like . if only people had actual thought ballons. i mean, i'd love to be rich and able to do anything i want, but would i want the baggage that would come along with said rich person?
however, in the fake world you can read the thought balloons, so i'll have to go that route. is it wrong or incredibly lame to want to be superman? he was never my favorite superhero, but lois lane is my type, and it would be nice to actually be able to fly, instead of just dreaming about it all the time. there's very little that he can't do, which makes it kind of an easy choice. i could fly all the nukes into outer space and stop worrying that every plane is an MX missile. i could use my all-american boy scout cred to campaign and get bush out of the white house.
so many possibilites, and i wouldn't really give a shit about keeping my identity secret, so almost no baggage. except having to solve all the worlds problems. but what the hell, with great power comes great responsibility, right?

2.)Think about your late teens to early twenties. What is your favorite event, adventure or memory from that period and why?

lately i've found myself pining for that time in my life. not for any specific reason, just the general malaise that sets in when you realize that back to the future will be 20 years old next year. i had a very large, and very close, group of friends back then, and i was fortunate enough to spend almost every waking moment with one or most of them.
you drift apart over the years, but i feel lucky to say that for the most part it's been merely a continental drifting. as far as myself and others have traveled from home, friendships have not been forgotten. occasionally i'll find a few months have gone by without speaking to so and so, (you know, the ones that STILL have no email! neanderthals.) so i make a call, and it always ends up feeling comfortable, not strained.
it's hard to pick one memory from there, and i'm gonna cop out on this one because looking back, it was chock full of favorite events, adventures, and memories.
lets just say any given crisp fall afternoon, spent doing a whole lot of nothing with some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for.

3.)What is the biggest risk you have ever taken? Did it pay off?

the biggest risk? i've ever taken?
i moved 3000 miles away from some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, with some of the best friends anyone could ever ask for. there were many reasons at the time, wanderlust and a growing aversion to shoveling slush being the main ones. i don't know why at the time i found fault with the fact that in a city as big as boston, i couldn't go anywhere at all without running into someone i knew. i really miss that sense of community out here in LA. i think it was cinderella who screeched, "you don't know what you got 'til it's gone". that tom keifer, he was alright, wasn't he?
did it pay off?
i found the best friend anyone could ever ask for, and asked her to marry me last summer. she said yes.
it paid off.

4.)If you could download a particular skill or ability (like they do in The Matrix) what would it be and why?

i'd want to know how to hotwire a motorcy... oh wait, the keymaker's right next to me!
i think i'd want to play the piano like a pro. i'm tired of hacking it. (no matrix pun intended)

5.)Peanut butter: chunky or smooth? And what do you pair it with for the perfect sandwich?

extra chunky, of course. marshmallow fluff, of course. white bread, of course.
keeping in mind that grape jelly and smooth (sounds like a 70's cop show) is the only way i've had it for the past ten years. i guess i like my sandwiches flawed. with a side of fries.

6.)Mark’s Bonus Question: LifeKu. Write a simple haiku that best
describes you. OR - MovieKu. Write a simple haiku that best describes
your favorite movie.


haiku. that's 5-7-5, right?
here's goes. i'm answering both for bonus bonus! (sounds like a japanese game show)

the wanderer stops
he looks around and thinks to
himself, go back home

return of the king
is my favorite movie.
by scott mcnicol

(that's supposed to look like a second grade book report, i ain't claiming i made the flick.)




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scott mcnicol